I can see clearly now

It's been a little more than 2 weeks since my eye surgery.  I was to be clear that my experience is not what most people experience when they have Lasik.  For them it is like the commercials.  They have the surgery, go home with a sleeping pill and when they wake up the next day they can see. I know that is how it is because I shared a waiting room with those people.  The young girls bounced out of the exam room "I've got better than 20/20!" they announce cheerfully to the room.  Just quietly I thought, "whatever bitch" but I knew my time would come.  When I was called in for my post surgery exam the optometrist was shocked to find that I couldn't make out a single letter on the chart. "Chart what chart?"  She tried to hide her concern but I could see she was a little scared.  I touched her hand, "it's ok, she said this would happen" I was completely near sighted or short sighted which was the opposite of how I'd started out.

The muscles in my eyes were so strong that if they had done a standard operation the muscles would have pulled my eyes back out of focus.  So for the first few days my vision would be good and then rapidly get bad again.  To avoid that the surgeon explained that she would have to over correct my eyes and let the muscles pull them into focus.  A process that would take a few weeks and was a lot harder than it sounded in our consultation.  I did notice that when the surgeon did my first check up, even through my swollen eyes, I could see the fine hairs on the side of her face.  I'd never seen them before on anyone.

By day three of my recovery I was convinced that they entire thing was a mistake and I wished I had never done it.  I chastised myself, "what was so wrong with glasses? At least you could see then.  You had to be so vain and ruin everything!" Because I was coming from a place where I had poor depth perception the world I could see was different, very different.  It was as if everything had suddenly been inflated.  Driving home I asked my husband, "Did you know the McDonalds golden arches weren't flat?" He laughed, "Uh, ya I knew that" It became clear to me that there was a whole world of marketing that hadn't been available to me.  Letters on buildings popped out at me, signs were plump and then we passed a car yard. BALLOONS! Oh my god balloons! No wonder people love balloons, they were so beautiful.  Pudgy little spheres of joy.  I had no idea balloons could look like that, it was amazing.

On the other side of that was that when I walked into a room I was suddenly very aware of the corners and the closeness of the walls. There were also no words to describe what I was seeing because words I had use before no longer applied. Trees on the street were in a different order, for the first time I understood what far-away looked like but my world had became very small.  If you've ever been on a computer simulated ride you may appreciate how it felt.  My eyes saw something, it was similar to things I'd looked at before but they just didn't add up in my brain.  I was queazy, outside was overwhelming and I just wanted to stay in my room.  The sun was like 1000 times brighter than I'd ever seen.  It burned and my eyes watered like leaky faucets.  I covered my curtains with thick blankets.  The brightness of the TV was turned way down and I sat 18 inches in front of it so I could see.  I could do little else.  After a week I got brave enough to go outside with dark sunnies on.  My friends cheered with me when I'd post on facebook that I could "see" things.  Droplets of water in the shower was big deal. Since I could never shower with glasses on the whole experience is different.  There are fleur de lis on the taps in my shower, I've lived in this house for 6 1/2 years and never knew that.  I can see the trail from the razor when I shave my legs. Where I haven't shaved is shiny and where I have is matte.  I've been shaving my legs since I was 13 years old and never saw that.

So two weeks in and I have come really far. I am sitting outside now, without sunnies and I can see the leaves on the trees.  That is the trees with big leaves but I know the small leaves will come.  My eyes are dry but if I apply drops twice a day they don't bother me.  This weekend I went on a trip into the forest to find wild mushrooms.  I could see the changes in terrain, the height of rocks and plants and I didn't trip or fall once.  I didn't walk into branches or step off things that seems lower than they were.  It was brilliant.  Last night hubby took me out for a birthday dinner and as we drove home in the dark I realised that I could see the lines on the road, crisp as lettuce.

So I begin my 36th year with this thought.  I have seen the Mona Lisa, the Grand Canyon and tulips in the spring but nothing will ever be as striking or more beautiful than the day I saw a bunch of balloons over a used car yard.